No More Lame Jokes, Please — I’ve Vetted This Season’s Christmas Crackers to Find 9 That Look Just as Good on the Outside, as What’s Inside

The ultimate “wow” moment for a formal table: deep green velvet, Fortnum’s signature palette, and weighty satin bows printed with the brand’s Eau-de-Nil detailing. They don’t just look the part — they feel it too. Inside, you’ll find treasures that belong in a grown-up stocking: Champagne stoppers, tea timers, infusers, and other Fortnum keepsakes, all wrapped up with the traditional hat and joke. It’s old-school luxury with genuinely useful prizes, which is why we Livingetc editors swoon over them every year.

For more maximalist kitchen and dining room designs, the Milagro Heart crackers from Rockett St George are the fashion Christmas crackers of the season: inky black paper, gold sacred-heart motifs, and rich ribbon ties — pure drama for the dining table. And the contents continue the theme: quirky iron-on patches, boot charms, and magnets that won’t end up in the junk drawer. They work beautifully against dark crockery, marble surfaces, or Christmassy candlelit tables.

Wrapped in Liberty’s archive prints, these are like mini artworks at every place setting. Each cracker bursts with a beauty discovery: think Sisley moisturisers, MZ Skin serums, or Grown Alchemist hand creams. The mix changes yearly, but it’s always a lineup your guests will fight for — real products, not sachet samples. The contents come in at a value comfortably above the ticket price, so they’re crowd-pleasers for beauty obsessives and dabblers alike. Scatter them down the center as color accents, or pair them with jewel-toned napkins for a layered, finished look.

A single cracker that looks like a chic favor on every plate, finished in Jo Malone’s graphic festive livery. Inside you’ll find three of the brand’s bestsellers: English Pear & Sweet Pea Cologne, Wood Sage & Sea Salt Hand Cream, and Peony & Blush Suede Body & Hand Wash. It’s the kind of gift that will have everyone secretly hoping to pull the 'right' one. (Or conducting some serious negotiations afterwards.)

For hosts who believe the table should sparkle as much as the Champagne, these Christmas crackers are the perfect finishing touch. Each cracker is packed with the usual festive trimmings (a hat and a joke), but also little surprises chosen for grown-up tables: miniature games, trinkets, and conversation starters that won't descend into throwaway clutter. They work especially well styled alongside champagne coupes, brass candlesticks, and crisp white linens. They’re a little glamour, a lot of personality, and a reminder that sometimes, the sparkle is the point.

Go big or go home. This supersized cracker from Hotel Chocolat makes a brilliant Christmas table centerpiece — not to mention a built-in dessert course. With 40 individually wrapped chocolates inside, plus hats and jokes, it’s as generous as it is good-looking. Style it down the center of a long table or across a buffet as a visual anchor, then let everyone dip in after the meal. The gold-and-cream packaging adds just the right amount of shimmer without tipping into kitsch.

Minimalist, elegant, and endlessly photogenic — exactly what you expect from The White Company. Choose between the cozy, clove-and-orange warmth of Winter or the sun-washed Seychelles scent; each cracker holds a handbag-friendly hand wash and hand cream duo. They look crisp and clean against color-rich tablescapes or stoneware, and make perfect parting gifts. If your Christmas styling leans toward the understated, these are your ticket to quiet luxury.

These handmade luxury Christmas crackers from Claridges arrive in black-and-white chevron art-deco style boxes and are filled with culinary-inspired keepsakes — including a Champagne stopper, a mother‐of‐pearl caviar spoon, honey dipper, tea diffuser, and, most excitingly, a cocktail recipe from Claridge’s The Cocktail Book. They’re timeless, tactile and just a little bit theatrical — like dining in Claridges itself.

For those who'd rather skip single-use Christmas crackers, these reusable alternatives are the modern host’s dream. Crafted in plush velvet and printed with delicate florals, each cracker is refillable, recyclable, and designed to be used year after year. They snap properly (no half-hearted fizz) and come with reusable ribbons and name tags, so you can fill them with personalized gifts. The velvet texture adds richness to your setting, while the floral print softens a minimalist table scheme. Use them to bridge traditional and contemporary styles: they’re chic enough for a formal dinner but relaxed enough for brunch.