Redecorating After a Divorce Is About "Reclaiming Moments for Yourself" — Here, a Designer Shares How She Took the First Step
A fresh start doesn't have to mean completely starting all over again; making small, easy swaps to your space can bring a surprising level of comfort
One thing's for certain: life has a funny way of not always working out how we expect. The jobs, friendships, and relationships we start the year with might not look the same by the time December rolls around again. However, there are a few things we can control, and having a safe space to come home to at the end of the day helps create a sense of balance, restoration, and comfort. So, when a major life change, such as a divorce, happens, reclaiming your space is a vital step in reconstructing that peace.
I spoke with Denver-based interior decorator and lifestyle content creator, Allie Sutterer, who shared that, "Right after my husband and I decided to separate, I lived with my parents for about six weeks. When it was time for me to move back into the apartment we had shared, I was terrified that I wasn't going to be able to handle being there alone." But, surprisingly, the opposite happened. "When I moved back into this place, I was, of course, still grieving, but I was also comforted by this space that felt especially for me rather than something we decorated as a couple," she explains. Focusing on her interiors became a surprisingly helpful way to recenter and start fresh.
Our homes are our own little worlds, ones carefully curated around our habits, routines, and personal tastes. "A lot happens outside of the home, but so much of our lives are lived in these relatively small boxes where we get to freely experiment with individuality and discover ourselves," shares Allie. "It's a micro universe that only one or a few people live in, and because of that, its function and beauty get to be distinctly our own."
If you've recently gone through a tough separation or have found yourself starting afresh, it turns out leaning into that urge to redecorate might just be the best step forward. Here's how to do it.
1. Re-Establish Safe Spaces and Moments of Routine
"Establishing new routines within your home can give you a renewed sense of ownership over the space," explains Allie Sutterer. Not only do a few new pieces of decor make your morning routine easier, but they can also help to define what is most important in your space.
"This was huge for me," adds Allie. "When you share a space with someone, there are most likely small compromises you make within your home, like closet space, different TV show preferences, and different sleeping schedules." This is your time to reclaim the energy in these moments, and curate an interior that is 100 percent your own.
Do you really enjoy quiet, cozy nights at home? Have you always wanted a vinyl record bar and listening corner? Maybe it's time to finally bring those coffee bar ideas you see on social media to life in your own space?
"I never used to spend any time relaxing in my bedroom," says Allie. "It always felt cluttered and messy on the day-to-day, and now I keep it clean and get to stay up reading with the lights on until as late as I want." Take this time to find a favorite space in your home that helps you center back into yourself.
Allie Sutterer is a Denver-based interior decorator and lifestyle content creator. Allie curates homes virtually and in person for clients, while also making content full of decorating tips and DIY updates to her one-bedroom apartment. Allie has over five years of experience as an interior stylist and a background in vintage furniture dealing, and recently separated from her husband.
2. Start Small When Redecorating
Keep in mind that while redecorating after a divorce is helpful, going for a full remodel might not be the best idea — it's best to avoid any more big changes in your life. Thankfully, there are plenty of ways to update without fully renovating, and for that, it's best to start small.
Most likely, after a separation, your home and what is left in it will look a little different now that it's just you. "A small but very healing redecorating moment for me was re-styling my bookcase with only my books and trinkets," says Allie. "I wasn't a huge personal-photos-around-the-house type of person before, but now I like to display photos of my family and friends throughout my home to personalize it and remind me of the love in my life."
Styling bookshelves is an easy way to make a space feel more like your own. A similar redecorating approach can be applied to areas like the coffee table, entryway (revamping your entryway ideas is especially nice because it sets the tone of the house), or even adding personal moments to your bathroom vanity.
It's about curating intentional moments that make you happy.
3. Fill Any Empty Space
If you aren't up for a complete overhaul of your space, or are not even ready to make a decorating plan, start reclaiming it by spreading out your things. "Fill the closets and empty drawers with something of your own, even if you don't need the storage space," recommends Allie.
This step is less about replacing the old and more about beginning to narrow the gap that's been left behind. Seeing an empty cabinet or corner of the closet leaves room for negative energy in your home. Instead, lean into positive feng shui this year, and fill those gaps with more room for yourself and the things you love.
You can even think of rearranging in this way as a chance to finally spread out and get creative with your storage ideas. Can you ever really have enough storage space for your shoes?
4. Identity What You *Do* Want to Buy New
While you can definitely make your home feel new without necessarily buying anything new, there are a few things that should probably be replaced.
"Absolutely buy new linens," says Allie. Not only is your sleep space sacred, but investing in quality bedding can help you sleep better and find a new sense of relaxation. Redecorating after a divorce is the perfect time to invest in yourself, and that starts with investing in a quality wind-down routine.
Consider repainting your space in colors that promote happiness. Change your home's scent or try out a new moodscaping trick. Buy yourself flowers. "A simple vase of fresh flowers is an extremely underrated decor piece that can transform a room and your mood," says Allie.
Often, the way you live alone in a space is different from how you may have lived as a couple, so reassess the furniture you have, or even just the way it's laid out, and see if there are any changes you can make to make it work better for you now.
"So much of divorce is about choosing yourself, and redecorating can be a great exercise in getting to know the truest version of you, without others' opinions and without compromises," says Allie.
"Divorce is a horrible, gut-wrenching experience, but it's also an exciting discovery that life can be anything you make of it," says Allie. "Creating that life requires a lot of strength. And as small as it may seem, decorating your home base and safe space is an exercise in creating that new, beautiful life."
Redecorating after a divorce is about building a home where you can fall apart and grow again. "It's an incredible act of self-love and goes beyond all the pretty things you buy," adds Allie. "Home then becomes a story of the trust you built within yourself."
So, here's to the new year and new beginnings — ditching things in your home that may feel less joyful, and welcoming in all the happiness.
