I Renovated While Still Living in the House — There's an Emotional Toll That No One Really Talks About, but These 5 Things Helped Us Get Through It

When I first started planning my extension, I was entirely focused on the end game. More light, better flow, and a kitchen I wanted to spend time in, not avoid at all costs. What I didn’t really account for was the long, uncomfortable middle — nine months of living on site while our four-bed Victorian home in Devon was pulled apart, added onto, and put back together again.

Although every room needed a complete overhaul, new electrics and plumbing included, we stayed put because we couldn’t afford to move out. Or rather, we chose to use the rental money on nicer fittings for our kitchen extension. Also, like many people, we wildly underestimated how long a full renovation would take, and Covid didn’t help matters.

With two children (aged three and six when work began), two dogs, and two budgies still very much in residence, the practical challenges were pretty stressful. But it was the emotional toll that really threw me. Here’s what genuinely helped us get through it, without involving divorce lawyers or child protection services.

1. Well Trained Tradespeople

One of the fastest routes to burnout during a live renovation is becoming the default point of contact for everything, all day, every day. When builders are in your house for months, it’s easy to slip into full-time site manager, host, and gossip monkey! Our builders liked to arrive before 7 am, and while that was excellent for productivity, having people in your home at that hour indefinitely messes with your mojo more than you expect.

I quickly realized I needed to train my builders and myself. The first step was making it clear when I was actually working. I used my massive Bose headphones as a visual ‘do not disturb’ sign. When they were on, I wasn’t available for any decision-making that wasn’t urgent.

I also had to practice some self-discipline. I’m very easily distracted and annoyingly chatty, and there were days when I’d emerge to make a coffee and lose twenty minutes to friendly conversation I was fairly sure no one was interested in. Setting up a fully stocked, help-yourself drinks and coffee station — kettle, mugs, tea, coffee, sack-loads of biscuits — meant fewer interruptions and fewer excuses for me to skive.

One thing I didn’t do, but perhaps should have, was outsource the bathroom situation entirely. As interior designer Kishani Perera explains: “My number one tip to keep the peace and aggravation to a minimum during a long-term construction project is to rent a portable lavatory for your workers! There’s nothing more frustrating than having strangers in and out of your bathrooms, no matter how much of an effort they make to keep things tidy.”

Kishani Perera

Kishani Perera is a celebrated LA–based designer known for layered, authentic spaces with wellness at their core. She is also the founder of Healthy Homes, a design studio specialising in creating non-toxic, low-VOC interiors that prioritise air quality and sustainability.

2. A Decent Temporary Kitchen

I’ve put up with poorly equipped temporary kitchens before (ever tried doing the dishes in the bath?), and it nearly broke me. With children to feed this time, I refused to wing it with a kettle balanced on boxes.

We set up a proper temporary kitchen in the old utility room, with usable worktop space, real storage (with lids to keep the dust out), a portable induction plate [something like this Tefal Everyday Portable Electric Induction Hob at Amazon], a combi-microwave, a sink, a bread maker, and an air fryer, so we could cook something that vaguely resembled dinner. AO has a great selection of combination microwave ovensas well as air fryers, too.

We also leaned heavily on our outdoor grill, not just for burgers but for slow roasts, pizzas, and even the odd loaf cake. Sure, it was ugly, cramped, and still quite stressful to use, but being able to cook proper meals with fresh vegetables mattered far more than I expected, and meant the kids didn’t get rickets.

If budget allows (ours didn’t), Kishani recommends hiring a temporary kitchen pod. “It’s basically a mini trailer equipped with the basics of any kitchen, even a washer/dryer — just incredible,” she enthuses.

3. Taking Dust Control Seriously From Day One

If I could give one piece of advice to anyone renovating while living in the house, it would be this: Be militant about dust protection. We took time to create proper dust barriers around doorways (these ProDec Zipped Door Seals available at Amazon are excellent), completely sealed off rooms that weren’t being worked on with masking tape, and laid recycled floor protection (like this from Brewers) everywhere — not just where work was happening, but along every route builders would take through the house.

For Kishani, this isn’t just about comfort; it’s about health. “As someone who suffers seriously from allergies, asthma, and other immune-related sensitivities, air quality is my number one priority in life,” she says. “Construction can bring out mycotoxins, molds, lead, fiberglass fibers from insulation, among other toxins, into your air when walls and ceilings are opened up.”

With young children who suffer from asthma, I invested in air purifiers for their bedrooms. It helped my peace of mind enormously during the messiest phases of the build. It still felt like the house would never be clean again, but it definitely helped my sanity levels. Kishani suggests taking this a step further by purchasing air purifiers for every room you plan to use during the duration of the work. “This may seem like overkill, but it’s a great way to keep you and your family healthy during a long-term renovation,” she says. This LEVOIT Air Purifier comes highly rated on Amazon.

Another top tip from Kishani is to seek out contractors who prioritize cleanliness and have excellent construction practices when it comes to maintaining a clean site. “Daily vacuuming and swift removal of debris can significantly reduce airborne pollutants,” she says.

If you have an HVAC system, rather than radiators, Kishani recommends covering all vents, supply, and returns, to ensure construction dust isn’t pulled into your ducting and air system during your renovation. “The fine dust and particulate matter created during the construction process can be extremely difficult to remove from a system, and you’ll be breathing in this dust for months after your project if not properly sealed,” she explains.

4. Ring-Fencing One Calm, Finished Space Early

Renovation chaos is tolerable until it follows you everywhere. One of the smartest decisions we made was prioritizing the children’s bedrooms early. They were painted, furnished, and dust-free(ish) long before the rest of the house was anywhere near finished. Kishani believes this kind of physical and psychological separation is critical during long builds. “It’s also worth having specific rooms you discuss in advance with your contractors that are no-go zones for tradesmen,” she says.

Having children forced us to think more strategically about sequencing, too. Working from top to bottom meant we weren’t constantly trashing rooms we’d already decorated, and planning the messiest jobs in logical phases helped preserve small pockets of calm.

We were also careful with essential facilities and scheduling works so that we were never without a usable bathroom or somewhere to shower for more than a day, even if it meant delaying cosmetic finishes elsewhere. Despite our best efforts, we did have to make use of the showers at our local pool occasionally, and we booked our summer holiday to coincide with the new sewer tank installation. I drew the line at nature wees!

When you’re living through a long renovation, it’s nice to have at least one space that doesn’t feel like a building site. Somewhere without tools, trades, or half-stripped wallpaper. It doesn’t have to be perfect — just calm and semi-clean.

5. Not Striving for Perfection

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This was the hardest shift, but the most important one. For a long time, I tried to live as though the renovation was just background noise and drove myself crazy battling to maintain high standards of cleanliness. Eventually, I lowered the bar radically.

Vacuuming was still almost a full-time job, but the house was never going to be tidy, so I stopped trying. Meals became simpler. Laundry was saved until the weekends. We spent more downtime out of the house — beaches, woods, anywhere that reminded us there was a world beyond dust sheets and decisions about socket placement.

I also learned to manage decision fatigue more consciously. Not every question needs answering immediately, even when it feels urgent. Giving myself permission to pause — to bank decisions where possible — made the process feel less relentless and far more bearable.

Living inside a renovation is not ideal, and my top tip would be to avoid it if you possibly can! But, like childbirth, I’ve (mostly) forgotten the pain now our house is calm, light-filled, and works beautifully for family life, especially the modern kitchen extension, which brings me joy every single day.

Of course, there are things people always regret skipping during a renovation. If you’re not moving out, make sure dust barrier products, extra small appliances, and a gym membership (for the showers) make the cut.