Living On-Site With Our Kids While We Renovated Almost Broke Me — What I'd Tell Anyone Thinking of Doing the Same

Just down the road from where I live, there is a renovation and extension project underway. The house is a beautiful old Victorian waterworks, and when it came onto the market a couple of years ago, we actually went to view it. It was completely uninhabitable and buying it would have meant living on-site with our two teenagers in some kind of temporary set-up. Our last project saw us camping out in variously damp, draughty, cold spaces while work went on around us and, despite the fact that we finished it around 10 years ago now, the memories of some of the really dark days had not yet diminished enough to persuade us to take the plunge again.

The thing is, as work progressed and I drove by, seeing this dilapidated house being restored to its former glory, I began to feel really envious. Not just of the beautiful home it was clearly being transformed into thanks to the owners' sympathetic extension plan, but also, strangely, because of the mobile home that stood in the garden, where a young family was clearly living — evidenced by the crayon drawings stuck to the windows, the string lights that were hung around the caravan at Christmas, and the swings and slides in the construction site of a garden. Maybe I'm now seeing things through rose-tinted glasses, but we actually had some really happy times living on-site ourselves — it was a proper adventure, and I know the kids now look back on it really fondly.

That said, there were plenty of stressful, frustrating, and difficult moments too — yet, on reflection, many of these could have been avoided if I knew then what I know now. So if you are planning on embarking on a project that will mean living on-site while renovating with your kids, I want to share with you everything I now realize would have made our own experience so much better.

1. Choose Your Build Team Really Carefully

Even though we carried out the majority of our renovation and extension project on a DIY basis, there were certain jobs that required professional input — namely the actual construction of the two rear extensions, as well as some elements of the more skilled tasks such as plastering, plumbing, and electrics.

We quickly came to realize that the people you have working on-site make a huge difference. For example, our builder (who, admittedly, also happened to be my brother-in-law) went out of his way to include the children where he could, and our plumber, who had children of his own, would ask when was a good time to carry out noisier elements of his work.

While you can't expect all trades to tip-toe around you, hiring people you have a good rapport with and who seem to understand the set-up will help hugely, as Mia Spencer, founder at House by Mia, explains. "Get a good builder — a good builder will not only do a great job but will also respect your house and minimize mess. They might even work with you to schedule certain aspects of the worst of the work when you can be out of the way."

Mia Spencer

Mia Spencer is an interior designer and founder of House By Mia. With 15 years of corporate design experience, an MA from Greenwich University School of Architecture, a pop-up art gallery and food writing adventures to her name, in 2017, after completing her interior design training, House by Mia was born.

2. Make Everyone's Safety Your Number One Priority

I'm all for letting kids help out during a build project — but that doesn't mean I don't advocate site safety. If you are going to live on-site with your children, you need to ensure their home isn't dangerous — doing so will ensure everyone feels more relaxed.

Andy Gibbs, remodeling expert and founder of RemodX, suggests starting with a 'child-safety' plan. "A remodeling site is not merely messy — depending on the scope, it can become an active, hazardous construction zone inside the family home. My advice is simple — one can't create a child-safety plan until the project’s actual scope and hazards have been defined.

"Identify every room, hallway, entrance, yard, and utility area workers will use, not just the rooms being remodeled. List the work performed in each area and inventory the hazards," continues Andy. "Determine how children will access bedrooms, outdoor spaces, and living areas without crossing construction paths, and create physical separation. You should also establish operating rules. Require controlled tool and chemical storage, secured ladders, dust containment, HEPA filtration, daily debris removal and an end-of-day hazard inspection before workers leave."

Vanessa Larsson, architectural and interior designer at Planner 5D, also points out that hazards can change on a daily basis. "Your house is different every evening. A building site changes shape daily. You childproof it once, and then the floorboards come up in the hallway, a banister gets taken off, there's a window opening with no glass in it yet. So do a walk-round every evening once the contractors have gone, and look at it all from about three feet off the ground, because that's the height your child sees it from. Tools locked away, ladders down, skip covered. Five minutes, and it's the most useful five minutes of your day.

"Sound is the hazard nobody thinks about," adds Vanessa. "A breaker, a saw, a floor sander — these are genuinely loud enough to damage hearing, and small children have far more sensitive ears than we do. Get a set of children's ear defenders." These Dr.Meter Ear Defenders for Children from Amazon come in some really fun colors.

Andy Gibbs

Andy Gibbs is an architectural engineer, remodeling expert, construction veteran, inventor and product developer with more than 50 years of hands-on experience in home renovation, residential construction, remodeling design, contractor selection, building products and construction problem-solving. He has earned more than 40 patents and authored hazardous-material building standards later incorporated into the Uniform Fire Code

Vanessa Larsson

Vanessa is an Architectural and Interior Designer at Planner 5D, where she operates at the intersection of professional design practice, technology, and AI-driven workflows. She leads multiple client projects, designing from early architectural concepts to detailed interior layouts using advanced 3D and intelligent design tools, while also supporting homeowners through live consultations.

3. Keep One Comfortable, Mess-free Area at All Times

One of the biggest renovation and extension mistakes we made was to rush in, without a proper schedule of works or plan, and start tearing out all the things we hated — moth-eaten carpets, champagne-colored basins, even the odd wall or two. What this resulted in was an almighty mess — everywhere. A methodical approach, whereby we moved around, room-by-room, would have made life so much easier. As it was, we ended up confined to pretty much one room while work went on around us — and we're not talking a comfortable room either. It was stacked full of all the things we needed to get out of the way, with bare, cold floors and crumbling walls.

Vanessa Larsson suggests creating at least one retreat within the mess — a safe space that you look forward to being in when it all gets a bit much. "Renovate in stages. Keep one room sacred at all times, one room free of renovation dust and mess. Even if that means the entire family sleeping in one room together, it would be worth it, just to have a clean space. If possible, even keep one half of the home renovation-free, finish it, then switch to the other half."

Mia Spencer agrees that creating one or two clear spaces is key to a happy project. "When doing a single-storey extension, I always recommend that families create a living area on an upstairs floor so that there is a living zone away from the mess. Dining can still happen downstairs (as it's messy anyway), but after a quick meal you can retreat to comfort upstairs."

4. Have a Plan in Place for How You'll Cook and Wash

If you plan on living on what is, essentially, a construction site, full-time, with kids, you are going to need somewhere to cook meals for them, and also the facilities for everyone to wash.

At the very least, you need a source of clean water, a sink, and somewhere to cook food, be that a camping stove, air fryer, or microwave. We retained the old ground floor bathroom, despite it being pretty grim, while we put our modern bathroom ideas into action on the first floor and set up a temporary kitchen from an old trestle table, kettle, and two-ring electric tabletop stove like this VonShef Portable Electric Hot Plate from Amazon.

Vanessa Larsson has a good tip on how to approach the cooking and washing situation. "For the rooms that really run your daily life — basically the kitchen and the bathroom — always do them one at a time, never both at once. Losing one is manageable; losing both is not ideal."

5. Get the Children Involved as Much as You Can

Some people might say that kids and construction sites don't mix — I happen to disagree. Having grown up with an architect for a Dad, we moved from project to project, and I loved seeing our houses progress through the various build stages, climbing up ladders, having a try at spreading the mortar onto bricks, even swinging the odd sledgehammer at walls that were no longer needed.

In short, if you want everyone to enjoy the process of renovating, you need to let them feel a part of it from time to time — not just a spectator. I'm not suggesting that you let your toddler loose on a digger, or entrust them with your kitchen remodel or wiring, but just letting them see the fun side of it all helps. Somewhere behind the skim coat and paint on our walls are giant, scribbled, felt-tip murals, and the day my son was allowed to sit in the bucket of the digger to eat his lunch remains forever etched in his mind.

"Let them see the fun side of renovating," agrees Vanessa Larsson. "Often we dream of renovating, and once we're finally there, we're complaining. Your children pick up on these cues. Try to remember why you're doing it, that you're excited for the change, and that the temporary messy living will be worth it in the end. Make the temporary living fun, and let the children be part of it all. They'll love a good 'eating pizza on the floor' moment."

6. Don't Feel Guilty About Taking Time Off

During the 'renovation years', holidays were pared-back affairs, and days out with the kids usually meant one of us stayed at home to carry on with the work. However, on the rare occasion that we all downed tools, those moments away from the house meant we all returned feeling refreshed and motivated. Don't feel guilty for taking some time out — it does everyone good.

While taking time off does mean that work gets put on hold, taking a slower approach can be a good thing, according to Vanessa Larsson. "Let the renovation take time. It's better to move slowly, at a feasible pace, but to always keep it moving. Otherwise you might burn out after a couple of months and give up.

"I have many clients with half-finished projects that weigh them down on a daily basis," continues Vanessa. "So, renovate slowly, but always keep the work in motion. Baby steps. One week you might be painting trim, another day it's just ordering the tiles from the sofa once everyone's finally asleep. Some weeks nothing visible happens at all because you're waiting on a window to arrive — and that counts too, as long as you know what the next small thing is."

7. Try Your Best to Keep Dust Under Control

More than the rubble, more than the noise, even more than the fact that for a period of time we had no actual roof, meaning it would be raining in the middle of the house, it was the dust that really got to me — or, more accurately, got everywhere.

Putting dust containment methods in place makes living on-site with children so much easier and is definitely something I plan on paying more attention to next time around — it's one of those things I regret skipping during my renovation the most.

"Clearing out the dust is one of those jobs that feels endless and thankless while you're doing it, but it matters more than almost anything else, because it's not good for you or your children to be breathing it in," points out Vanessa Larsson. "Use proper zip-door protection all around the spaces that are in renovation, taped floor-to-ceiling, not just polythene hung over a doorway." (Guilty). "Get a proper dust extractor — and a HEPA air purifier so you can breathe clearly at night."

This Meaco Deluxe 202 Air Purifier & Humidifier at John Lewis is an on-site essential, working not only as a humidifier, emitting a fine mist (which can be infused with an aroma) to reduce the effects of dry air and dust, but also includes a HEPA filter that retains 97.3% of particles 0.3 micrometers in diameter.

As for zip-door sheets, I have no idea why we didn't use them during our project — they would have helped so much. This BRACKIT U-Shape Zipper Door Dust Sheet on Amazon comes with everything you need to fit it, is made from thick, sturdy plastic, and, thanks to a strong zip, prevents dust from travelling from room to room while you work.

8. Know When It's Time to Vacate the Premises

Finally, there is no shame in bailing out at certain points during the project — whether it is for your physical or mental health, there are just times when being on-site is not going to work.

For us, this point came when the floors were being dug up and the walls being stripped back to brickwork in the main ground floor areas — we decamped to the grandparents' house for week.

"The day you feel that you can't protect your children from the dust, or the day the noise is too loud to bear, that's your signal to go," says Vanessa Larsson. "Spend the day somewhere with clean air and a floor you can put a baby down on, or even make a daily habit of being out as much as possible during the stretches the contractors are on site. Living through a renovation can be uncomfortable — that's the deal you've signed up to — but it should never be unbearable. The moment it tips over, you leave, and you come back to it tomorrow."

Not all projects have to be hugely disruptive to everyday life. If you want to make changes without the stress, take a look at the minor home renovations that can make your home more quietly luxurious, minus the mess.

For more design ideas, subscribe to the Livingetc newsletter — all the latest will be delivered directly to your inbox.